I still can't make titles....

I still haven't finished Harry Potter 7. I've been taking my dear old time, I don't like to rush. I like to slow things down, sleep for 14 hours, stand around doing nothing, or draw a picture.....I don't have anywhere to go, anyone to meet, the only way I get away from my house is riding my bike to martial arts, but other than that, I barely do anything. Makes me feel useless. Maybe I am useless. So far I have no purpose. I may have one later in my life, but now I'm just some sulky teenager, who lurks around in the shadows of the house, dreaming about what life could be like. Growing extremely anxious about the upcoming concert, trying to calm myself down, trying to tell myself that I probably won't be able to get backstage.......it's a fifty fifty chance. If I do, I'll be lucky not to have a heartattack by that point. What can you expect? I'm not that outgoing. I don't 'live like there's no tomorrow', I try to make my motto be 'you've only got one life to live', trying to be reckless, daring, but both seem impossible. Maybe I need to hang out with people my age again. My friend just emailed me, saying she might be able to hang out with me next week, which just lifted my spirits a bunch. I want to feel like my old self again......