Scared

I'm just suddenly...scared. For no apparent reason. I just felt this huge pit of emptiness open up, and then I just couldn't settle down. I started to panic, and then I felt on the verge of tears, and I really had to talk to someone. Now I feel lonely. And I have no clue what brought on this feeling when I was just chipper this morning. My mouth feels like cardboard. And my mind is racing. I just want to write to let out some of my feelings. So I can feel better.
What am I scared of? What is driving me insane right now?
I think I'm afraid to live. I think I'm afraid of everything that's going to happen in my life, and how the hell I'm going to take it. I think I'm scared of everyone I love, and how I know they can hurt me. I think I'm scared of betrayal, and feeling left out. I think I'm scared of heaven, and scared of...forever. A concept I can't grab. I think I'm scared of myself, and afraid to look down deep inside and find out what is there. I think I'm scared of what people will think of me...and what I'll think of them. I think I'm scared of no one loving me, of eternal blankness and unhappiness. I think I'm scared of death, not for me, but for others. I think I'm so scared of change that I don't want to accept anything anymore. I think I'm scared of self-esteem, and how easy it is to lower it. I think I'm scared of pain....both physically and emotionally. I think I'm scared of everyone, and everything, and anyone. I think I'm scared to admit that I'm scared. I think I'm scared that I'll realize how scared I really am, and how everyone else is probably so scared, they too don't know how to cope.
I'm too scared to stop writing, I'm too scared to move, I'm too scared to admit my mistakes, and I'm too scared of not being able to find out what comes next.