I am giving BIRTH through my freaking ear

That's what it feels like. Sounds painful? You can bet it does. I want to explode. I think I'm going deaf. It HUURRRRRTTTS. Ow ow ow ow ow ow. I can imagine middle ear juices oozing out. Well, if it stops, it works. Just go AWAY!
Well, I think the pain killers are kicking in a bit....that's good. I might have to OD on Tylenol PMs if I want to get to bed. Oh god, never mind, it's coming back. I'm going to have little mutant ear babies. HELP MEEEE!