School (continued)

So, Amber and I aren't on good terms. The entire situation is kind of stupid, but all in all, I think it's had more effect on her then on me. I believe it was this Tuesday when she came to my table at lunch and asked me 'what my problem was'. I told her that it was her, and thus, started this little fight, she ending it with the line 'I can't believe you stabbed my back'.
Stabbed you in the back? Where have you been for the past few years, child? For the love of God, get your head out of your ass! I mean, come on? Has it really been me whose doing all the betrayal?
So, the result of that fight was some high fives, pats on the back, and 'good job! you finally stood up to her!'. No more dealing with her...
And of course, all this comes with a consequence. We've had this 'posse' now, and she seems to be brainwashing the majority of them to think that I'm really the one to blame for this entire situation. Of course, being the brainwashing physcotic slut she is, everyone believes her. And at this rate, I don't trust any of them, and don't wish to have to deal with them. Mainly just Tristan and Todd. At this rate, they're really just ticking me off. I mean, come on! She's going to dump you in high school, why stick with her now?
So if this goes on any further, I'll just say goodbye alltogether. I promised I'd never tear the posse apart, and technically, I'm not. I am just simply leaving it, and leaving my friendships(and maybe one relationship) behind as well.
I have the friends I need to survive, and without them, I'm better off as dead. Screw the rest of them, perhaps they'll grow brains in another life, I have people who love me, and I don't need anything else.

School

I hate it. More than life. The place I have to go five days a week, and endure the stupidity of the other people that go there, the pointless drama, the people that dislike me, and socilizing with people who I have no intrest in at all. Why? It's pathetic! I know I have to learn and stuff like that, but can't I just do that at home? I love the learning. Learning is so much fun. I just hate the people. I mean, if I could go to school by myself, with no one to bother me, I'd be fine. Screw all the partner work and groups, and whatever, I do most of the work anyway (not to be stealing anyone's spotlight, but most of the time people end up sticking everything to me saying: "Okay, YOU'RE the secretary, YOU do it." The only disadvantage of being on student council board...missing recess for meetings goes along with that as well).
Even if I do have friends at school, I'm most likely not going to keep them next year. I'll be going to a different highschool as everyone else (which in some cases, I thank God for everyday), starting out fresh away from the people I hate, away from those I love. But really, I'm going to miss them, even if I do see them again at my reunion in twenty or thirty years, but by then, we'll all have changed.
There are three people I am certain will still be my friends. I'll list them straight out.
Hannah
Michael
Gaby
I'm not even too sure about Gaby. But I know I'll be friends with Harhar and Mike forever. There's no doubt in that. I've entrusted these three with alot, and I know they would never give my secrets away. I tell them things I don't even tell (or think of telling) Todd. I can't trust him. Even if he's my boyfriend and all that shit, I can't trust him. There's a high chance he would tell Amber what he finds out.
Yeah, Amber and I aren't on the bestest buddies anymore either....

Turkey Day

I sit here in my cluttery room, freezing cold despite the fact the heater is on and I'm wearing a long-sleeved shirt with a hoodie and a blanket...maybe it's because this room is the disconnected from the rest of the house, which exceedes in giving a temperature change.
It's Thanksgiving now, a time when people eat a ton of food and supposively give thanks for what they have. It's one of those totally overlooked holidays; right after Halloween people just skip right ahead to Christmas. We aren't setting up the tree today, my dad wants to wait for a while before we do so, apparently there isn't enough room for the furniture in the attic. But even so, Christmas is coming soon, in about a month, and I'm sure no one in my family is as excited about it as me. Maybe it's because I'm the youngest, and the thrill of waking up at seven in the morning to open a wide variety of freshly wrapped gifts amuses me, or the thrill of watching loved ones gasp in suprised and say things like: 'how did you now I wanted this?!' or 'Thank you soooo much!' as they open presents.My dad wants me to list all of the things I want for Christmas, but I think if I do so, I'll feel kind of needy.
I don't want much, but there are a few things in particular that I'm appalled to recieve. I know my mom may be planning to give me a cell phone, but that wouldn't satisfy me because I rarely talk on the phone to anyone, unless it is to discuss meeting plans or school work. I mine as well tell her to save her money, and go buy a nice Christmas present for herself instead.But if I DID have to list the things that I wouldn't mind recieving, they'd be...

Borders gift cards, pile them on.
iTunes and F.Y.E. gift cards, I would never run out of uses for those.
Another year subscription to membership on runescape.
Slippers. (I found a pair that I particularly like..ones decorated with two big skulls)
Anything InuYasha or anime related on Ebay, like plushies and other things (ones to compliment Kilala, InuYasha, and Sesshomaru)
A rat.

I already know that at least $40 of borders gift cards is in order; my extended family normally give me over $100 worth a year. (normally $20 from each relative, Grandma, Aunt, ect.)
As far as anything that must be provided by access to the internet, my dad would be the one to provide those.
Slippers would be something my mother would most likely get, along with the rat (I reallllllyyyy want onnnneeeeeeeee. My guinea pig has been dead for two years now, I need some more fury company).
So, there isn't much I would desperatly like for Christmas this year (discluding the rat), especially since last year, I was being quiet expensive (electric guitar, mp3 pillow, nice speakers with subwoofer) and for my birthday I also recieved an 80GB video ipod. (I am NOT spoiled!)
But as far as gifts for my loved ones go, I'm going shopping tomorrow and bringing an extensive amount of money with me to buy whatever they may want. I hope they ALL get there revenge and feel as spoiled as ever.

Throwing Knives At The Wall

Sometimes the world slows down. Sometimes it just stands still. Sometimes everything is peaceful and you feel like everyone is the same, we all are created equal and it doesn't matter what we look like or who we are, it only matters that we all are trying to make it through this hell. There is so much hate and war, but there is also love and peace. It may seem invisible at times, but it's there. You may not know it. No one can truely hate another person. Love is always there, even if we try to hide it. Hate is powerful. If it were just hate, we'd all be doomed. But it's not. And if you just think about it, then you'll find a better place in what seems to be a bad one.